New Rules of Negotiation

Kristen Prinz is yet another practitioner who is endeavoring to democratize access to her renowned insights on negotiation by distilling it into a book. Knowing how hard this is to do, I really admire all that she’s done to set up to give us all the quick hits on negotiation techniques for the modern age. Below, you’ll see my exclusive Q&A with her and why she decided to write the book. And it releases today!

AJR: What inspired you to write New Rules of Negotiation: How to Shift Power and Get What Matters? Was the process harder or easier than anticipated?

KP: I want to empower everyone to be better negotiators for themselves. Most people think negotiation is a skill you’re either naturally good at or governed by a secret set of rules. The truth is, it’s really about paying attention—to your long-term goals, your fears, the other side, the timing, and the surrounding circumstances. It sounds simple, but it’s definitely not easy.
My day job is helping high-performing executives negotiate every aspect of their careers, and even they struggle when the stakes are high and they are negotiating for the things that matter most to them personally. In those negotiations, it’s difficult to stay clear on what you’re trying to achieve, what the other side wants, and what else is shaping the negotiation.
Writing the book was harder than I anticipated. I am an ADHD multitasker, so sitting down to write every day was a challenge. I tend to overestimate what I can accomplish in a day, and this project was no different. The manuscript was originally due in August, but it took me until November to finish it and submit to my publisher.

AJR: What are your favorite 3x key takeaways from it?

KP:

Preparation should focus on the people. There is a lot of negotiation advice focused on data and market research. That matters, but as long as people are making the decisions, we also need to focus on the who: Who is involved in the decision-making process? What is going on in that person’s world, personally and professionally? And what would motivate them to give you what you need to achieve your goals?

Control conversations with questions. A lot of people are so focused on looking smart that they keep talking when they should be asking questions and listening. The person talking is giving information; the person asking questions is guiding the conversation.

Practice patience. This one is hardest for me, but it’s really important. Big negotiations take time. Rushing to the end usually means missing opportunities.

AJR: Where to buy???

KP: New Rules of Negotiation: How to Shift Power and Get What Matters is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or your local bookstore. Thank you!